Goodbye Dear Cat
It’s the end of an era,
Of a cat’s thoughtless reign.
The end of a song,
“What about me?” the refrain.
No more silent eyes,
always looking at you,
But thinking of food bowls,
as if you’re see-through
Pat me right now!
Now don’t! Now do!
In a moment, I‘ll bite you,
so you know that I’m through.
Buy me a cat toy!
I’ll play with it later,
Not when you want me to,
to me, you shall cater.
Most cats, (and I)
We’re really mean dudes,
like to pretend to be finicky,
To watch you change foods.
I’ll pee on the floor,
it’s the pan I despise,
if you try to housebreak me
I’ll scratch out your eyes!
Cause if in the morning
I weighed half-a-ton,
I’d play with, then eat you,
I‘d think it was fun.
Not like a dog,
who would starve by its master,
show gratitude, and love you,
like a happy, dumb bastard!
Kitties have made it
these millions of years,
not through their kindness,
but the stuff ‘twixt their ears!
“Snakes, but with fur”,
We‘ve even been called,
Yes, snakes are self-centered,
and certainly bald.
So, though this cat’s gone,
And you don’t want any more,
A box of “pure-cuteness“
Just came through the door.
We’ll latch on to your heart,
your home, bank account,
and so that you’ll keep us,
Love the minimum amount.
So, once a “cat person“
Always, a fool.
You live just to serve us,
Like a human footstool.
Signed with something that’s intended to resemble love,
Your Ex-Cat
